Should Women Use Sex To Settle Quarrels With Their Husbands?

What’s a marriage without some firecrackers, ‘you said-I said’ and occasional outbreaks? No two people can exist in the same space without differences of opinion. In fact, many people believe that fights help the marriage grow. It all depends on how severe the fights are and how they are resolved. In these post lets see how this Nigerian Woman settles her quarrels with sex,


Adaeze Nwajame, popularly known as Ada Bongo, is a musician and a TV presenter at Kpakpandu TV on Infinity satellite. She’s very popular, particularly in the eastern part of the country where her style of music is generally accepted. In her interview with Vanessa Okwara, she speaks about her new album and what being a wife and mother means to her.


How long have you been in the entertainment industry?
I have been in the music industry for six years. In those six years, I attended live shows with my band and we performed at weddings and traditional events. My music genre is the Bongo style of music which is the traditional Igbo kind of music which people like Bright Chimezie and Sunny Bobo brought into the limelight. This style of music is very popular in the eastern part of the country, particularly the Owerri people in Imo State. It’s from this style of music that I got my stage name. I’m mostly celebrated in the East as Ada Bongo. Now I want my kind of music to be known all over the nation and beyond; that is why I have written songs in pidgin language so that I can cut across all sections of the country.


Have you released the album?
I have many songs which I did in Igbo language that I sing at shows and weddings. Right now, I just released a highlife track called Uduabiriba. Both track and video will be coming out at the same time by January. The promotion is already going on and it’s being played on most radio stations both in the East and also in Lagos


What is the message of your song?
When you hear about Udu-abiriba, it’s not about the popular town of Abiriba in Abia State. It is a word I just used to symbolise womanhood, a woman’s private part to be precise or a woman’s central bank, if you know what I mean. Most women use this special part of their body that God gave them to punish men, especially their husband. When there’s no money, she will refuse to give her husband her Udu-abiriba. In my song, I said ‘No money no Udu-abiriba’ is not a good character for a wife to show to her husband. So in my song, I’m telling women to use their womanhood as a blessing to their husband. Marriage should be enjoyed and not be endured.


Are you saying that women should give sex freely to every man that asks?
No! I don’t mean girls or unmarried women. My message goes particularly to those who are married. They should give uduabiriba to their husband anytime he asks for it and they should not give conditions for it. I’ve been married for 18 years, so I have a lot of experience in this area. The program I run on Kpakpandu TV entitled Igirigi is marriage counselling using the Igbo language. I thought, instead of only talking about it, let me also sing about it so that I can reach a wider audience with this message. Most people who might not have time to tune to a TV station can listen to the song on the radio or the alum itself.


Is this song written in Igbo dialect?
No it’s not just an Igbo song. It’s written in pidgin and also has a mixture of both Igbo and Yoruba words. It is a very funny song every Nigerian can easily identify with. The Bongo songs I normally do are mostly Igbo people that understand them but in this new track, Nigerians will readily get the message of the song.


You said you’ve been married for 18 years now, what has it been like?
The truth is that marriage can never be all rosy. It all depends how both of you manage the crises period. By God’s grace, there are good times and there are bad times. It is God that establishes a marriage, so it is also God that will support it through storms. I have seven children and I’m very proud to say it because a lot of people tell me I don’t look as if I have grown up children. They are four girls and three boys.


What do you do when you have problems with your husband?
As I said in my songs, udu-abiriba is very important. When there is problem with my husband, it’s the udu-abiriba that we normally use to settle the quarrel. Sex settles every problem with your husband, so it should be used wisely by a wife. The more women are ready to understand that God has given men that position which makes them to be on top and give them their respect, then the fewer problems we’ll have with our husbands. When I have problems with my husband, I don’t go replying to every word he says; I will wait for a time when I’m sure he has cooled down to talk to him and then we will settle the quarrel with udu-abiriba (sex).


Has your husband been supportive of your music career?
At the initial stage, he did not support me. To him, when he married me I was not a musician and all of a sudden I’m telling him I want to do commercial music where I will be going out to clubs and shows to sing. He didn’t like it at first. With my stature and the way I look as if I’m not even married, it was like a threat to him but he knows the kind of person he got married to and learnt to trust me. When I went to the studio, waxed a song and it sold in the market and people kept calling to say they love my music, he began to see it as a gift. He therefore made up his mind to support me and not suppress my gift out of jealousy. Now I can travel for a week and perform in any part of the country and he will stay back to help look after the children although they are all grown up now anyway. My music career started when my children grew up. The older ones are there to look after the younger ones as well. Some of my children also exhibit my kind of talent. Some sing and others do professional dancing.