Domestic Abuse?Why Aren't We Discussing This Issue?

I woke up to seeing a very disturbing picture of a young woman, Gabriella, who had been involved in a domestic abuse situation with her boyfriend. The picture was all over Instagram and in my group messages. The girl, an attractive, young, seemingly happy, aspiring model, with over 66,000 followers uploaded this picture of her graphic injuries to Instagram, as well as the gruesome details of what happened to her.




I stated that this girl is attractive, young, happy and has thousands of followers, because we often equate these things as what matters most in life. And that people like this don’t go through hurt, pain or struggle. So untrue. Things like this happen everyday to the beautiful, popular, rich and famous as much as anyone else. Yet, we aren’t really talking about it. It’s swept under the rug or “not our problem.”

I am very proud of this young girl for sharing her story, although embarrassing and painful. The pictures of course are very disturbing and I think most people can empathize with someone when there are physical scars, especially to this degree, but what about her boyfriend/attacker’s behavior BEFORE the actual physical abuse?

In the post Gabriella stated that her boyfriend would often accuse her of cheating and flirting. He probably constantly questioned her whereabouts as well. Many young women (and some older ones too) think that this type of behavior from their partner is “cute” and means “he must really love me.” When I was younger, one of my girlfriends was dating a guy who always happened to show up every where we were, from clubs, to restaurants and even at the gas station. At 1st, like her I thought it was funny, but after the 3-4th time I was like OK, this guy has a problem. It wasn’t cute; he was a stalker and I wasn’t comfortable with it. My friend continued to date him and he continued to stalk her, after a while the 2 of them, thankfully stopped dating. Things never got physically abusive between the two of them (that I know of), but his behavior gave me major red flags.

Why aren’t we talking more openly to our sisters, friends and daughters about domestic violence and the signs that lead to physical abuse? Because this (Gabriella) could have been any of us?

Thankfully I have never been involved in a domestic violence situation and I pray that my daughter and nieces are never either. But, it is my responsibility to talk to them about it. My daughter is too young to talk about this with, but I have discussed abuse with my oldest niece and even my 6-year-old son. I don’t think it’s EVER ok to put your hands on a woman, especially one you are claiming to love, no matter how mad you are. These issues start at home, they are learned behaviors, from abusers to being abused. If boys are never taught it’s NOT ok to hit women, then they will think it’s ok to do so. We must also teach our daughters their worth and to never allow someone to diminish it by verbal or physical abuse. We must teach them the “warning” signs, that it’s never “cute” and abuse is rarely a one time thing and that staying IS NOT an option. We must let them know that they are able to speak out and ask for help when they need it.

So while some may think that Gabrielle shouldn’t have shared this with the world, I applaud her courage. She is helping some other young girl who maybe going through the same thing and doesn’t know how to get out of it and feels she has no voice or outlet and also the many women who didn’t speak out and aren’t here anymore to do so

By SuperGeorge.com